Some days I'm Miss Honey and some days I'm the Trunchbull.
I am in a place that I am stuck and anything I try doesn't change it, at least not in a positive way. First I suppose I should lay it out and what my life basically consists of. The majority of me has been consumed by being a mom. I love my kid but I don't know who I would be at thirty without a kid. I spend my free time with my seven year old. Volunteering with other people's seven year olds and I work with 400+ kids 5 days a week. If someone had told me 10 years ago that my entire life would revolve around kids and that I actually enjoyed it I would have never believed it.
In addition to that if someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be living with multiple chronic illnesses I would have been horrified and hopefully not have believed them. Sadly that is also a big part of reality. I am bipolar which is usually manageable but with things that have happened in the last two years it periodically creeps in and overtakes the normal part of my brain.
One major thing that happened to me is in the span of two weeks I lost both of my best friends. One moved to the other side of the country for a new relationship and the other one essentially dropped off the face of the Earth for some dude that as far as I know just materialized to make my life sad.
The other major thing that is slowly wrecking me is my diagnoses. I have trigeminal neuralgia commonly called the suicide disease.
